An Update
I previously wrote about my diagnosis with a rare autoimmune disease called Granulomatosis with Polyangiitis (GPA). While the diagnosis was scary, I had been feeling poorly for so long, it was a relief to get a diagnosis and treatment that made me feel better. As I wrote then, “...for the moment, I find it hard to worry too much. It feels too good to have my life back.”
I'm Back
Several years ago, in one of those Christmas book exchanges, I received The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. It took me more than a year to finish the 729 page epic, but it was one of the best books I ever read. The story concerns a young man’s visit to a sanatorium, what we would now call a tuberculosis retreat, in the Swiss Alps. It’s…
The initial step of treatment involved a very high dose of steroids to reduce inflammation. Not only did it relieve my symptoms, it gave me a huge boost of energy. I felt the need to sleep only a few hours of night, and had tremendous optimism and energy for new projects. It felt like I was living my best life.
I was also, I recognize now, in a manic state brought on by my medication. While I did some good work that I’m proud of (including many of the posts I wrote here), I also made some stupid decisions and unrealistic plans. I knew eventually I would come back to earth and have to grapple with life with a chronic illness. I’m now in the process of figuring out what my new normal looks like.
I’m going to take the last two weeks of the year off from posting to spend time with my family and figure out my next steps. While I don’t know where I’ll go from here, it means a lot to me that people read these posts and get value from them. Thank you, and have a wonderful holiday season.
Figuring out work life balance is hard for me too, and I have a corporate job and no diagnosis or medication to deal with. I hope you can get some rest and not get too bored in your time off. Looking forward to your return.
Dear Nate,
I'm very sorry to know about your health nightmare.
I hope it can be of some small help to know that I get a great deal out of your messages, even though I haven't played chess in a tournament since 1993. Your post about GM Daniel Naroditsky was the most insightful, moving, and meaningful of the very many that I read. I had been reading your work with great admiration before I read that, but after I read it I vowed to read/watch anything from your hand that I could get. Your clarity, creativity, and passion bring light to my chess mind and to my life generally.
I am keeping you and your family in my prayers and I offer you every good wish for healing and for finding and enjoying your "new normal" life.